These pretzels are making me thirsty!

We’re in Germany. Munich to be more specific, Breitbrunn am Ammersee to be exact. We got in mid-day, and after getting our luggage and car, and driving to our place, it was beer-thirty as soon as we settled in.

I'm convinced that the greatest beer in the world can be found at Kloster Andechs. Carl Orff is buried there  - don't confuse him with Bib Fortuna from Return of the Jedi, “De wanna wanga” and “Ne Jabba no botha!” It's the guy who wrote this.

We have, of course, been here before. And much of our time in Munich is going to be a highlight reel since Jess was pregnant last time, Dinah wasn't born, and Daniel doesn't remember it. Oh, and because everything we did here was awesome last time – there’s that too.

We had the beer, the kids had giant pretzels. Andechs is a cash only establishment, or has a large minimum with credit. We missed getting drinks for the kids on our first order, had no cash since we just arrived, and those pretzels make you thirsty. There wasn't really a good solution since one shouldn't really drink two beers that size before driving, and we couldn't meet the minimum to pay for it without more food or more beer. But the monks have been perfecting this beer for over 500 years, so no one really heard the complaining.

"I told you this beer was great five years ago!"

Go giant pretzels!

"Go Caps!"

"Go biggy pretzels!"

"Go monks!"

Riser (and go Caps!)

We were early risers this morning to go to Easter service at the local Lutheran church, Hallgrímskirkja. Jesus was also an early riser, hence the holiday.

The service was in Icelandic, but surprisingly easy to follow along. Sit, stand, sing “hallelujah,” say “amen.” We've got it down at Lutheran churches around the world.

Our amazing friends had an Easter egg hunt ready for our kids, who at this point, had gone nearly twelve hours without candy and were ready to go Lord of the Flies on us like our last trip.

Seeing friends, getting candy, a nap in the car, and getting used to the time zone prevented any international incidents – and made for a great day for everyone. Plus there was some sightseeing.

John has been wearing his Washington Capitals hoodie on this trip. He got it a few weeks ago in Washington, DC. We packed too light for that trip too, and he didn't have a good jacket. We bought the first hoodie we could find at a Target Express in Annapolis. John is not a sports fan at all. From the moment he walked out the door with it on, people in DC yelled “go Caps!” to him, often with fists in the air. This included a Secret Service agent at the White House. It also included a TSA agent at DIA on the way for this trip, and now a man at Geysir in Iceland. It's a small world for Caps fans, apparently - like Broncos fans. Go Caps!

Frozen tundra, suitable for Caps hockey

Easter with a best friend

Another riser, Hallgrímskirkja

Jesus, take the wheel of this pickup in Iceland

Geysir, letting off some steam

Cold Warriors

It was 5° in Iceland today. That's in Celsius, but I'm led to believe that's also quite cold. I'm not complaining. We left in a blizzard, with near whiteout conditions on the drive to the airport, so this does feel like an upgrade.

We learned about whales and Vikings today. Both are big and smelly, and they both do interesting things. We were informed that the Viking museum is full of “unpleasant things for little girls” and we should look at the postcards to see pictures of the terrible, graphic imagery before entering. The postcards had pictures of wax Vikings holding axes, looking big and smelly. Kind of like Dinah’s older brothers. It wasn't bad and she wasn't phased at all, but the woman was appalled when we came out. “You took her IN!?” 

We also visited Höfði House. Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev held an historic summit there that marked the beginning of the end of the Cold War. They discussed nuclear bombs, and I'm pretty sure John and Daniel discussed fart bombs while waiting in the car. Another historic summit.

Dinah learning about sperm whales. And they said the Vikings were inappropriate...

A big and smelly Viking trying to steal my woman

 Höfði House

They were happier walking in. Maybe they were also sad it was so cold.

Packing for international travel (pro-tip from a 7-year-old)

Our packing began yesterday. I brought up the suitcases for the boys and left them at the top of the stairs without saying anything, and got started doing my own packing. Daniel took it upon himself to get started with his packing, since he is a veteran international traveler after all.

He later announced that he was all ready, and had the suitcase standing by the stairs again. He seemed a bit concerned that I wanted to take a quick look to make sure he didn't miss anything. The zipper strained at being opened, and immediately a mound of stuffed animals burst forth like a jack-in-the-box. We both jumped with surprise at the force with which they came flying out. Yes, the guy who thought it was a good idea to squeeze a dozen stuffed animals into a suitcase was also surprised somehow.

There were only stuffed animals packed. He was fully prepared to stay in the clothes he wears on the plane for five weeks in exchange for having the opportunity to play with Lambert and Snuggle Puppy. I have also been informed that Cotton Candy Bear has always, always wanted to see Italy. What kind of a mean dad can deny him this chance of a lifetime!?

Cotton Candy Bear pondering how much time he wasted learning Italian phrases if that mean guy won't let him fulfill his lifelong dream of going on the trip. "What a big jerk!"

Shock and awwww!

When someone hears about a five-week trip to Europe, the response is usually one of shock. Sort of like the moment someone announces they will be having a leg amputated the next day. Or that they're joining a cult. Or that they're voting for Donald Trump.

Once they've gotten past the initial shock of five weeks, they inevitably go here next:
“Who’s watching the kids?”
“We are.”
“How can you do that from there?”
“Uh, what?”

The kids are coming. Like this time and this time. They'll say great things, they’ll experience the big world we live in, they’ll hear people speak in different languages, they’ll appreciate the time with family, they'll be exposed to history, and the entire thing will be memorable and special. All that and Jess will likely walk into something large and immovable. Awwwww!

One can't really plan much when traveling with three kids (now 10, 7, and 4), but we do have a bit of a plan:

On Wednesday, fly from Denver to Reykjavik, direct and through the night. We’ll eat bad airplane food, watch cheesy movies on a small screen, sleep with hundreds of strangers on pillows we blow up with our mouths, and mutter to ourselves about how much we paid for this fine experience.
After spending a few days in Reykjavik, we’ll fly to Munich. Here, Jess will enjoy a sampling of the amazing German Bier she missed out on last time.  There will be sausages too. And castles.

It will still be March, which means it will still be cold. Our sweaters and we will then fly to Naples in search of sun, sea, and spaghetti.

From there, it’s four weeks working our way north through Italy, fueled by wine, pasta, and gelato. We’ll laugh, we’ll cry, and we’ll no longer wonder why Fellini movies are so weird and crazy.

Five clowns traveling through Italy. Is this us or is this a Fellini movie?

Dances with Pancakes

In Dances with Wolves, the scene where Kevin Costner’s character receives his orders was filmed in South Dakota and the set has been moved right outside Rapid City. Today, it serves all-you-can-eat pancakes for $0.99, Kevin Costner not included. Being one to never pass up a bargain and knowing that our kids eat a lot of pancakes, Jess made sure we capitalized on this deal. She earned her Sioux name today, Dances with Pancakes.

The pancakes were great. I’m glad I paid for that. I could have played two songs at the creepy monkey at Wall Drug or stuffed my face with as many pancakes as possible. I chose wisely.

Next door is the room from the movie. It’s still exactly as it was in the movie. Except it has a cardboard cutout of Kevin Costner. And a TV looping that scene from the movie. And people in shorts walking through with cameras. And a cheesy gift shop with nothing related to the movie one room over. Other than that, it’s just like you’re standing in the movie.

We’ve had our fill of tourist traps, and decided to skip one of the remaining items on our list: Cosmos Mystery Area. I think it either has something to do with Cosmo Kramer’s apartment or is a weird cabin built on a hill full of hokey optical illusions - either way, quite likely a complete waste of time.

Instead we passed through Deadwood. If you’re old and like gambling, this place is for you. We’re not and we don’t, so we let our kids play in the park for a few hours, then found a brewery and drank beer. Like in Germany, our kids played with their fine European Stecki toys and all was right with the world.

All Lost in the Supermarket

Wall Drug is a fascinating case study in marketing and self-promotion. In the middle of nowhere, the store needed to find a way to survive during the Great Depression. Offering free ice water was the bait to get tired and thirsty travelers to stop in. It grew into so much more and billboards sprang up for miles in every direction (including this one in Afghanistan)

It’s now an epic tourist trap, full of meandering aisles of nonsense. I can no longer shop happily. I’m glad I didn't pay for that.

Dinosaur Park in Rapid City was also on the list of attractions due to its massive billboard promising dinosaur delight. Frames made of re-bar covered in concrete and painted to loosely resemble creatures of the Jurassic period are placed on a hill above the city. I’m glad I didn't pay for that.

The best part of Wall Drug is that it’s near the entrance to the Badlands. This national treasure is worth every cent. I'm glad I paid for that.

You're a big fine dino, why don't you back that tail up?

This giant monkey wobbles every which way but loose while singing for you at Wall Drug. $0.50 per song, I suggest doing what I did - wait for the silly tourist in front of you to pay so you can see the look on their face.

Stunning

Wow