House of Lego

Today’s visit to Legoland Windsor was full of secrets and intrigue.

The boys enjoyed our trip to Legoland Deutschland so much (we sometimes wonder if they actually remember anything else about those six weeks), that we booked a return visit. We wanted it to be a surprise, mainly to see the sheer joy in their eyes when they saw it…but also to use as leverage when needed.

Over the past two weeks, we’ve needed to pull that out a few times. For example, “We’re going to cancel our amazing surprise day if you do that one more time!”

There was a close call in the lift at the Royal Observatory when I noticed a Legoland brochure on the floor. They couldn’t see that, or they would either figure out what the amazing surprise was or they would beg incessantly to go there and thereby nullify our amazing surprise completely. I silently slipped my foot over the brochure and told them to look at the cool lights in the elevator to avert this crisis. Amazingly, there were no other ads or billboards anywhere near us.

This morning before we left, I let slip that we were going to see a show to keep them off the trail. John immediately picked up on this and probed to figure out which show it was going to be: why, Mamma Mia! of course. They didn’t see it coming.

Bonding

Sometimes the best thing for our boys is to separate them for a bit. John and I toured Parliament today, then I found the major James Bond sites in London. Jessica took Dinah and Daniel to the Transport Museum and then the kids to the Princess Diana Memorial Park. As such, today’s post will be separated into two parts.

Parliament & James Bond

The tour for Parliament begins in Westminster Hall, which was built in 1099 and has survived bombings and the great fire. A few big things happened in that room, such as the trial of Thomas More and William Wallace (you might call him Braveheart). Winston Churchill lied in state here. Nelson Mandela and Barack Obama addressed Parliament here.

In the Queen’s Robing Room, John let me know he had to go to the bathroom. It’s the second room on the tour. He was advised that he needs to tell me these things before the tour starts. By the House of Lords chamber, he clearly was having trouble paying any attention at all. We asked if there would be a break on the tour. The answer, “If it’s urgent, a security guard can take you. Is it urgent?” John looked at her and said, “No.” She walked away, then he turned to me: “What’s urgent mean?”

By the House of Commons chamber, he told me, “It’s urgent.” This was the room I most wanted to stand in. I told him to “wait, we’re almost done.” He almost peed on the floor in the chamber. He probably wouldn’t be the first.

There are a few key James Bond sites in London. Ian Fleming wrote the novels here and at Goldeneye in Jamaica. I’ve now read some of those novels on a beach in Jamaica and in a London flat. I’ve now had a martini at Ian Fleming’s favorite bar and have seen his house where he wrote. Some of you may recall that we drank our way through all 23 Bond films last year leading up to Skyfall. I think I’m now qualified to write the next movie.

Original timbers from the 11th Century. Ain't no bombs or Nazis gonna take this place out.

The MI6 headquarters, home of Bond’s employer, the British Secret Intelligence Service. The building is affectionately called Legoland - more to come on the real Legoland.

DUKE’s Bar, where Ian Fleming received the inspiration for “shaken, not stirred,” is said to have the best martinis in London.

A Vesper martini, made to specification from Casino Royale.

Ian Fleming's home in London where he wrote some of the early novels. Stopping by was not creepy because he's dead and doesn't live there anymore.

Transport Museum & Princess Diana Memorial Park

Daniel, Dinah and I started off the day journeying to London’s Transport Museum.  Here, Daniel learned that in the mid 1800s, at the age of 6, he would have been put to work cleaning up horse manure from the streets.  He’s glad he lives in the 21^st century.  The museum had plenty of hands-on exhibits to keep Daniel entertained, and plenty of hands-on boy toddlers to keep Dinah busy too. 

We also walked through Covent Garden Market, where we saw fun street performers.  Our favorite was the golden man, who sat still, almost magically, until a couple of ladies walked up close to see if he was real.  He jumped at them, startling most of the assembled crowd and prompting guffaws of laughter from my children.

Magic?  Or magic pants?

After we met up with Doug for a quick pub-grub lunch, the kids and I headed off to the Princess Diana Memorial Park. 

Apparently, when you walk around the streets of London with three kids and only one parent , people think you’re a local.  Three times, people asked for help with directions, only to be sorely disappointed when my American accent indicated I was nearly as clueless as they were.

The kids had a blast at the Peter Pan-themed park.  Kids climbed like monkeys (or sailors) all over a model pirate ship, ran through tipis like natives and waded in the creek.  15 minutes after we arrived, once everyone was thoroughly soaked and covered in sand, Daniel informed me that he had to pee.  If you’ve ever tried to frantically pull socks and shoes onto wet, sandy feet, you know what it was like.  For those of you who haven’t attempted this veteran mom move, imagine trying to dress an angry cat in a dress 3 sizes too small.  That’s a bit what it’s like.

Once we solved Daniel’s bladder problem, the kids played for a while longer and then we braved the Underground home to meet Daddy, who was patiently waiting for us (I have the only key to the flat.)

For our bit, we had a great day with wonderfully behaved children who are now Tube veterans and can hop on and off with the most seasoned businessmen at rush hour.

"I've got this Dinah, don't worry."

Tipi, or I have to pee-pee?

I Walk the Line

Jess is getting a cold. She was going to wear a cute dress. Instead, feeling rotten and seeing kids who were rambunctious, she changed into a Broncos shirt. Dinah wore the same. Adding on to the Colorado pride, John went for the CSU shirt.

We started today at the home where Charles Dickens wrote Bleak House, Great Expectations and Oliver Twist (which I just read with John on the first few days of our time in England). Dickens owned a very comfortable looking green chaise lounge that begged to be climbed on. Dinah heeded the call and was quickly reprimanded by the Dickens docent. We also happened to walk to the museum right in front of her and I think we annoyed her on the street too. 

The largest toy store in the world , Hamley’s of London, is 5 floors of awesomeness and staff who either really like toys and kids or are very good actors. Either way, welcome to Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. A family from Denver noticed the Broncos shirt and loudly exclaimed their Denver pride to us.

Because the British were better sailors than everyone else, the Prime Meridian came to be accepted at Greenwich. Everyone but France agreed with that, and some of their tourists continue to be disagreeable when visiting Greenwich.

The Cutty Sark is there. Not the kind that LBJ drank, but the famous tea clipper.

Greenwich is also home to the only planetarium in London, which houses the Alien Revolution exhibit. In 1952, Britain established Project Blue Book to investigate UFO sightings. In 1969, their report stated that the majority of UFO sightings are mistaken identification of "natural phenomena or aircraft," but said nothing of the minority that are not in that category. In 2009, the British Ministry of Defence closed its UFO investigation, supposedly...

After standing on the dividing line between the Eastern and Western hemispheres, we stopped off at a pub for dinner where some people from Denver loudly exclaimed their Colorado pride. They happened to be sitting right next to us. He gives tours of Sports Authority Field at Mile High on Thursdays and Fridays. Just don’t go this week, he’s in England. Of all the gin joints in the world…go Broncos!

Charles Dickens wrote here. Keep your kids off of this desk!

Kids do belong all over this place

East or West? Who cares? Go Broncos!

She hasn't seen Titanic yet, but she's Queen of the Cutty Sark

The Rolling Stones (and Boy)

Taking a train on a Sunday, during the Bank Holiday weekend, means that they’re full and don’t run very frequently. This means that you need to stay on a somewhat tight schedule (including getting up early). This is not how we like to travel.

We walked to the Tube with a transfer to the Waterloo station and boarded the train to Salisbury with 10 minutes to spare. Coming back, we had to rush back to the station at Salisbury and boarded the train with exactly 2 minutes to spare. There was wailing and gnashing of teeth both ways. The sandwich in the middle was very good. The sandwich we ate was also good.

Daniel finally got his ride on a double-decker bus. As soon as we boarded, he did a little happy dance on the stairs, begging to go up. Then as we approached Stonehenge, there was a lurch and he rolled out of his seat onto the floor with a thump. Fortunately, no one was harmed in this visit.

Built in 1315, the Cathedral of Saint Mary at Salisbury is the tallest church spire in the UK, and one of the tallest in the world. It reminded us of the cathedral at Köln, which reminded us of the theme from our time in Germany, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” There was a man in the Tube with no shirt, a bow tie, and spandex pants being detained by the police. One can only imagine…

No stones were harmed in this visit either

A building from 1268, unchanged except for the bustling coffee bar underneath

Holy wow

Inspired architecture

I need this sign for my front yard. That logo is for the town, not a little steaming pile of foul

It's Only Rock 'n Roll (But We Like It)

The original plan for today was to get up early in the morning to go to Stonehenge. Last night being Friday before the long Bank Holiday weekend meant that the hipsters in our Hoxton neighborhood had plans to stay up until early morning. It sounded like a Stone Roses concert outside, with screaming, bottles smashing and more. The kids didn’t go to sleep until late, and we woke up throughout the night. The noise was still strong as of 2:30am. We didn’t like that.

So the plans changed. We instead spent time visiting 221B Baker Street, the address of London’s most famous detective. 

Abbey Road Studios, birthplace of some of the greatest rock ‘n roll in history, also came on the agenda. After recording, the Beatles used to walk over to Paul’s house at 7 Cavendish Avenue. We did too (casually trying not to appear too creepy since he still owns that house– fortunately there was another creepy guy doing the same which took attention away from us).

The lyrics to A Hard Day’s Night were written on the back of a birthday card Julian Lennon got on his first birthday. The card is at the British Library, our final stop for the day. Paul’s handwritten lyrics for Yesterday are also there (when it finally got upgraded from the working title of Scrambled Eggs), along with several others.

There’s some other rock ‘n roll there too: the Magna Carta, some of Leonardo Da Vinci’s notebooks, a Gutenberg Bible, a little Shakespeare, and ancient illuminated manuscripts. There are also originals from some other respected songwriters like Handel, Mozart, and Beethoven.

Dinah met a security guard she really liked as well. Her reaction was like meeting the Beatles in 1965. She screamed uncontrollably when he winked at her.

The address of Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Now home to a museum and gift shop.

Turbo

Sir Paul's Cathedral

Getting the gait right is tougher than it seems with cars buzzing past you

Not being creepy weirdos, just taking the same route that the Beatles walked...

I'm an Alien

I’m a legal alien, an American in London. They can tell right away too.

We decided that we were going to live like common people, see what common people see, rest our kids like common people. We went off to our natural habitat – the suburbs.

After close to an hour in the tube, we arrived at the Wacky Warehouse, a play place conveniently located within a pub. 

To enter, we were asked for our post code, which we gave to the young lady with no additional explanation.

“No, I mean what’s your post code?”

“Yeah, that’s our post code.”

“Really? Ok…” Clearly this was quite bizarre to her. These people must be from another planet or complete morons. “What’s your phone number?”

We gave that to her, which was greeted with an even more puzzled face.

“Is that a mobile??”

“Yes.”

Her distraught look at these strange numbers we were giving her and the inability for her computer to accept this alien language finally brought out the explanation – we’re American.

“Oh! Are you staying with family then?”

“No.”

“Why did you come here??”

The answer to that question was really quite simple. Our kids needed a chance to run like crazy little loud Americans for a few hours. It was really quite nice.

It was also reassuring to see that while some may glare at our children at tourist attractions, British children are actually much worse. And their parents have bad teeth.

Just like back home!

This is the most hated building in London. Really. 

I've been to Dorking many times. Took a quick ride there tonight while writing this post, in fact.

We've Got a Ticket to Ride

Today it was time to get out of town and get to the sea. Daniel has been talking at great length about going to the ocean and spending time on the beach. At random places it went something like this:

“When can we go to a beach?”

“Not right now, we’re about to go eat lunch.”

“Why can’t we go to a beach? I want to see the ocean.”

“We can go to a beach, we’re just going to get lunch right now. We’ll go to one soon.”

“I want to go to a beach. When can we go to a beach?”

It was time for a beach. We’ve been walking a lot. Today it was nice to just ride.

Finding the train to Brighton was a bit like “through the park or around the park,” except up the escalator, through the corridor, down the escalator and through the corridor. Preferably not the same escalator and corridor for each step, though they do all look alike. And each corridor branches off three ways with no signs. Except for the Mamma Mia signs the boys scream about. They’ve never seen the musical and have no idea what it is –but they really do like the signs, laughing hysterically and loudly at each one. They also count them. The record is five at one station.

The Brighton Pier is a lot like Chuck E. Cheese’s with freshly caught fish and chips instead of cardboard pizza. Daniel is very distraught every time chips are ordered and arrive as French fries. They keep forgetting to bring him his chips.

Their prize for burning through the games was a Union Jack wristband for each of the boys. One was lost in the first five minutes. Better than a cat toy I suppose.

Pebble beaches hurt really bad for adults to walk on. Kids don’t seem to notice. And sometimes there will be tanks driving through Brighton.

Royal Pavilion, not an Indian restaurant. We'll find one of those later.

This beach ain't for walking

Chuck E. Cheese's on stilts

Vacations are made of this

Life during wartime

Funky Tut

The boys have been learning about Ancient Egypt in school. The Denver Museum of Nature and Science has a small exhibit of black market mummies on loan from our fellow Puebloan Andrew McClelland. But after also watching the Indiana Jones movies, they were expecting a bit more to bring it to life.

It’s over 6,800 miles from Denver to Cairo. Plus things are a bit feisty there for small kids. It’s only 4,600 miles to London and the British Museum happens to have a stunning collection.

Between requests to get ice cream and stop walking so much, they enjoyed it a lot.

"How'd he get so funky? Did he do the monkey?"

He coulda won a Grammy, buried in his jammies

For a bit more history, we visited the Churchill War Rooms. The underground bunker for the War Cabinet during World War II was largely left exactly as it was at the end of the war.

They got a little lesson in civics with a walk by 10 Downing Street and some explanation on their Prime Minister vs. our President (the key takeaway was that the President's security is much better, never caught goofing off with tourists like these guys).

Everything just as it was in August of 1945. That stiff guy apparently got left behind too, likely because he just wasn't very much fun to be around.

No PM sightings today. 

They also learned that the clowns at Piccadilly Circus are just the tourists buying overpriced merchandise and there are in fact, no circus acts. Buckingham Palace is kind of a long walk away and isn’t that great. And the lions at Trafalgar Square aren’t really Aslan. You can’t ride on them either.

This guy isn't having much fun here either.

All lions look alike. Apparently this is not Aslan.

Don’t tell the kids they learned something on this trip, it will spoil their fun.

Not all the ladies love his style, and this one doubts that he was born in Arizona.

Bridges Over Troubled Water

The River Thames was once so polluted with raw sewage that they could no longer convene Parliament at Westminster. I don’t think they dump their sewer in it anymore, but it is a bit brown and clearly not for swimming.

Now that we’re in London, today was a self-guided walk crossing some of the major bridges (including Waterloo, the wobbly Millennium Bridge, BlackFriars) with a few sights along the way:

Big Ben and Parliament. Note the time - that means it makes big noises

"What is that guy doing!?" Daniel after a walk through street performers that really looked more like Joker’s goons running loose outside Arkham Asylum

Honeycomb and caramel ice cream sold out of a truck

My favorite, the largest solar bridge in the world powering 50% of the neighboring train station's power needs

The College of Arms, where James Bond meets Sir Hillary in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Note, the car is different, otherwise unchanged from the movie

St. Paul's Cathedral - different from Sir Paul's Cathedral, we'll see that one later

Another bridge, can't remember the name of this one

What it looks like after climbing 528 steps at St. Paul's in August heat carrying a backpack and a toddler. For the record, I tried to carry both but I recall getting a similar face in response - there's no pic of that