Picture yourself in a boat on a river

Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl. If I had my Royal yacht taken away from me by the stingy Labour Party, I’m not sure I would have left it in such good shape - it would be hard not to make a royal mess of it.

Today we walked through Leith to visit Britannia. It’s parked right outside a shopping mall, which doesn't sound very appealing unless you walked over a mile with three kids to get there. In that instance, you welcome the convenient bathrooms and plentiful distractions that come with a good shopping mall. This one, in fact, won the Platinum ranking for the Cleanest Loo Award in 2015, and was still quite lovely.

Compared to modern cruise ships, I suppose the Britannia is a quaint little boat with fairly dated décor. But clearly in her heyday, this ship was a sight to see. Many a world leader no doubt got seasick on this beauty. U.S. Presidents included Dwight Eisenhower, Ronald Reagan, and Bill Clinton. Prince Charles and Princess Diana took a honeymoon cruise, and even moved in a queen-sized bed since all the others were singles, likely so they could play canasta at nighttime. Interestingly, the Queen did not sleep in a queen-sized bed, though perhaps any bed the Queen is in at the time is considered a queen-sized bed, sort of like any plane the President is on is Air Force One.

Other items of note:

In case a Royal yacht isn't interesting enough, there are stuffed Corgis placed throughout the yacht to find.

Leith has some great ethnic food. We found the most interesting and delicious Turkish Kebab anywhere in Europe so far. This place was called The Best Kebab. Most Kebab places seem to be named some variation on this (note, The Original Best Kebab is two doors down).

Really nice sitting area (in 1974)

A Corgi has been spotted! 

A wounded Corgi, perhaps a Canasta mishap 

Loo of the Year Awards is not a joke 

Best Kebab ever is not a joke, this was seriously the best I've ever had

The boy who lived

The first day of international travel is tough with three young children. Everyone is completely out of their routine, and no one has fully adjusted to the new time zone or gotten enough sleep. Any parent can tell you that a sleep-deprived kid is a crabby kid. Any kid can tell you that a sleep-deprived parent is a crabby parent. Shake those ingredients up with a day full of walking and sightseeing, and you get quite the experience.

In spite of that, we got through the most touristy of Edinburgh attractions, including the eponymous castle on the hill. Right outside Edinburgh Castle is a playground of tourist traps for young and old, including the Scotch Whisky Experience (think Disneyland ride in a whisky barrel) and Camera Obscura and World of Illusions (think house of mirrors on drugs). Through all of that, I'm pretty sure there was at least one person upset about something at all times. Complaints like, “But I didn't get to look through the crazy looking glass as long as she did!” and “I can't believe I actually paid for this!”rang out all day long. It was amazing everyone lived to see the end of the day.

No one should say someone slept like a baby, that implies screaming and pooping through the night. This family slept like the dead, and awoke to the right time zone and a fresh start where we no longer hated each other.

Step one for the new day was to conquer the National Museum of Scotland, a fabulous blend of nature, science and Scottish history. Dolly, the now-dead cloned sheep, is stuffed for everyone to marvel at a highly questionable scientific endeavor. The other animals are in cases mixed with fish, amphibians, reptiles and mammals within each case. Case by case, Daniel and I played “which would you like to have as a pet and which would you like in your bathtub.” The rules are pretty self-explanatory. The mammals usually won out as pets.

One of the boys who lived is a huge fan of Harry Potter. There are several other fans in this group as well. J.K. Rowling wrote the first book fueled by coffee at the Elephant House, just down from the street Potterrow (must be a coincidence). Behind the coffee shop is Greyfriars Kirkyard, a peaceful cemetery that's perfect for a quiet walk looking for inspiration where names like Riddle, McGonnagal, and Moodie can be found on gravestones (clearly another coincidence, there was also a John Campbell buried there). From over the cemetery wall sits the prep school George Heriot’s with four houses and four towers looking like a school of wizardry, and Edinburgh Castle is perched on the rock overlooking all of this looking like Hogwarts. Shake those ingredients up with a day full of typing, and you get quite the experience.

We ended with the Museum of Childhood, which you would expect to be full of fun toys. It's actually full of creepy dolls, which probably means that no one will sleep again.

"This is fine, I guess."

"I wonder if I can hit my sister with this cannon?"

One of the largest whisky collections in the world, but there ain't enough whisky in Scotland to make me forget you (or a bad day)

My kind of whisky

An optical illusion, or did his brother finally kill him?

That mischievous grin means trouble

My brother did this to me

People like coming to this place, must have good coffee!

Well, hello Dolly, you're lookin' swell, Dolly. It's really nice to have you back where you belong.

See, Tom Riddle is spelled wrong, no way this has anything to do with Harry Potter!

McGonagall is a common name, you see it everywhere 

A school for gifted kids, like maybe gifted with magic? 

Seriously creepy 

The boy who lived after eating haggis 

Let's get small

"Families with small children and anyone needing extra time may board at this time." When this announcement went out before our latest trip to Scotland, we all looked at each other uncertain for the first time. We'd been traveling abroad with small children for years, but now our youngest is five and a very capable traveler, more so than many adults I've seen.

Dinah looked at us and asked, "Am I small?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Let's see what happens."

Dinah bent over to make herself as small as possible, including doing her "small" voice, saying "I'm small" over and over all the way up. The gate agent gave me a funny look when he saw her coming. "Oh, she's being really small," was the best response I had, as if this were all perfectly normal.

Daniel later informed us that he likes to get really small, so small he collapses under chairs and other small spaces. I can't help but think of this Steve Martin bit about getting small. Wait, is he talking about something else? Maybe we should be concerned about this.

After about eight hours in the air, plus another hour by train to get from Glasgow to Edinburgh, all we wanted to do was sleep. We powered through the day the best we could to get one right time zone, but there is very little of note. To properly segue from our Italy trip, we found a Neapolitan pizza place. They put haggis on it here. Also, Dinah was enamored with all of the seagulls, calling them her “gull friends.” The real fun begins tomorrow.

Sleeping on a train.

Telly time in a flat in Edinburgh

A walk around the park and through the park

No one ever orders #45. Not once EVER